“I’m Fine”—When Silence Feels Safer Than the Truth


 “I’m Fine”—When Silence Feels Safer Than the Truth


By Ruby Dalvina

Dear Readers,

There’s something I’ve been reflecting on lately—something many of us carry quietly but rarely name.

It’s that moment when someone asks, “How are you?” and we respond with a soft, automatic “I’m fine,” even when we’re not.

Not because we want to lie.

But because, in that moment, the truth feels… unsafe.

Too heavy. Too complex. Too vulnerable to unwrap in passing conversation.

If this resonates with you, you’re not alone. I’ve been there too—saying “I’m fine” with a smile that hides storms, not out of deception, but out of self-preservation.


Why We Say “I’m Fine” When We’re Not


Sociologists and psychologists agree: emotional safety plays a huge role in whether we express our true feelings. Vulnerability can be terrifying—especially in a world where strength is often misdefined as stoicism.

According to a 2023 report from the American Psychological Association, 63% of adults admit they avoid sharing their emotional struggles due to fear of judgment or being perceived as weak.

But here’s the truth I’m learning:

Not everyone who hides is hiding because they want to be invisible.

Some of us are just waiting for someone safe enough to be seen by.


Life Lessons: Behind Every “I’m Fine” Could Be a Story


Let’s be honest—we all carry unspoken stories.

Here are a few things I’ve come to understand through my own journey:

• Sometimes we lie to protect our peace, not to betray others.

When the world feels too sharp, our silence becomes our bandage.

• Walls don’t mean we’re cold—they often mean we’re cautious.

We built them to feel safe. But over time, they can become prisons instead of protection.

• Healing is not loud.

It comes in tiny choices: choosing to answer honestly with one friend. Choosing to pause instead of pretend. Choosing to let in light, even if it flickers.

Tips: How to Gently Let the Light In


Here are a few ways I’ve started letting myself be a little more open—without compromising my boundaries or peace:

1. Answer honestly, even if briefly.

Instead of “I’m fine,” try:

“I’ve had better days, but I’m holding on.”

You’re still protecting your space, but allowing truth to breathe.

2. Choose your people wisely.

You don’t need to open up to everyone. One person who truly listens is better than ten who pretend.

3. Write it down.

Even if you can’t say it aloud, journaling helps release what you’ve been holding in. Words deserve to be seen—even if only by you.

4. Practice being gentle with yourself.

You’re not weak for protecting yourself. You’re human. Honor the courage it takes to keep going.



A Personal Note from Me to You



I’m still learning this too.

Learning to let others see past my “I’m fine.”

Learning that light can seep through even the tiniest cracks.

Learning that healing doesn’t mean you have to shout your truth—but maybe just whisper it to someone who truly hears.

And maybe that someone is reading this now, realizing they’re not alone either.

So next time someone asks how you are, and you feel that pause before answering—pause with grace.

Because maybe today, or tomorrow, you’ll feel brave enough to say something more.

Or maybe, someone will ask again, not to invade… but to stay.


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