March 8, 2025
Dear readers,
Have you ever felt lonely in a crowded room? Have you ever been surrounded by people, yet felt invisible—like no one truly saw or understood you? If so, you’re not
This quote holds a powerful truth that many of us have experienced but often struggle to put into words.
In this blog, I’ll explore why being with the wrong people can feel lonelier than solitude, share real-life examples, and offer valuable advice on how to embrace solitude in a way that brings peace, strength, and self-discovery.
Why Being with the Wrong People Feels So Lonely
Loneliness isn’t just about physical isolation—it’s about emotional disconnection. When you’re with people who don’t align with your values, who drain your energy instead of uplifting you, or who make you feel unheard, the loneliness can be even more profound than if you were by yourself.
1. Surface-Level Relationships Lack Depth
Imagine sitting at a table with a group of people who are talking, laughing, and exchanging stories. But the conversations are empty—filled with gossip, small talk, or superficial topics that don’t resonate with you. You long for deep, meaningful discussions, but no one seems interested.
This kind of environment can leave you feeling isolated, as if your thoughts and emotions don’t matter. In contrast, solitude allows you to connect with yourself, reflect, and seek out relationships that truly nourish your soul.
2. Emotional Drain Instead of Emotional Support
The wrong people often take more than they give. They might manipulate, belittle, or dismiss your feelings. Have you ever shared a dream or personal struggle with someone, only to be met with indifference or negativity? That’s a sign you’re in the wrong company.
A true connection should feel like a safe space, where you can express yourself without fear of judgment. When you’re constantly walking on eggshells or feeling emotionally exhausted after spending time with certain people, you’re not in a healthy environment—you’re in a lonely one.
3. Pretending to Fit In is Exhausting
“Loneliness in solitude is temporary. Loneliness in the wrong company lingers forever.” — Ruby Dalvina
When you’re with people who don’t understand or accept you, you might feel pressured to change—whether that’s hiding your true personality, suppressing your opinions, or pretending to enjoy things that don’t truly interest you.
Over time, this facade becomes exhausting. You start to lose touch with who you really are, and that disconnection from yourself is one of the deepest forms of loneliness.
The Power of Being Alone (and How to Make the Most of It)
Solitude isn’t something to fear—it’s something to embrace. Being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely. In fact, it can be one of the most empowering experiences if you use it wisely.
1. Get to Know Yourself
When you spend time alone, you have the opportunity to discover who you truly are without outside influences. Ask yourself:
• What makes me happy?
• What are my values and beliefs?
• What kind of people do I truly want in my life?
Journaling, meditating, or simply taking quiet walks can help you reconnect with your authentic self.
2. Surround Yourself with the Right People (Even If It Takes Time)
It’s better to have a few genuine friends than a large circle of people who don’t truly care about you. Seek out relationships based on mutual respect, deep conversations, and shared values. If that means spending time alone until you find the right people, so be it. Quality always matters more than quantity.
3. Find Joy in Solitude
Some of the most successful, creative, and self-aware people in history spent significant time alone. Writers, artists, philosophers—they all understood the value of solitude.
Use your alone time to develop new skills, pursue hobbies, and cultivate inner peace. Read books, travel solo, explore nature, or start a personal project. When you learn to enjoy your own company, loneliness fades away.
Final Thoughts: Choose Depth Over Presence
Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely, but being with the wrong people almost guarantees it. Loneliness isn’t about numbers—it’s about connection. True connection isn’t about how many people are around you, but how deeply you relate to them.
If you’ve ever felt lonely despite being surrounded by others, take it as a sign. A sign to step back, reassess, and choose your company wisely. You deserve relationships that uplift and fulfill you. And until you find them, embrace the beauty of solitude—it’s where self-discovery begins.
What are your thoughts on this? Have you ever felt lonelier in a crowd than by yourself? Share your experiences in the comments—I’d love to hear your perspective!
— Ruby Dalvina
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