What They Hate in You Is Missing in Them

Dear Reader,

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to dislike you for no clear reason? Why do they criticize your success, belittle your confidence, or resent your kindness? The answer often lies in the saying:


“What they hate in you is missing in them.”

When people harbour negative feelings toward you, it’s often a reflection of what they lack within themselves. Their hatred, jealousy, or resentment has little to do with you and everything to do with their own insecurities, fears, and unmet desires.


This article will explore why people behave this way, how to handle such situations wisely, and how to rise above negativity with wisdom and grace.


1. The Psychology Behind Hate and Envy


Hate and envy are often rooted in comparison and insecurity. When people see qualities in you that they lack, they may react with negativity instead of self-improvement.


Common Reasons Why People Hate What’s Missing in Them:

1. Confidence vs. Insecurity – People who struggle with self-doubt may hate your self-assurance.

2. Success vs. Failure – Those who feel stuck in life may resent your achievements.

3. Kindness vs. Bitterness – Someone who has experienced hurt may mock your compassion.

4. Happiness vs. Misery – People unhappy with their own lives may dislike your joy.

5. Authenticity vs. Pretending – Those who wear masks may despise your realness.


Example: A coworker constantly criticizes you for being “too ambitious.” Deep down, they may wish they had your drive but feel stuck in their own fears.


2. How to Respond Wisely to Hate and Negativity


Instead of reacting emotionally to hate, handle it with wisdom and emotional intelligence.


Tips to Deal with Haters:


1. Don’t Take It Personally


Haters are fighting their own internal battles. Their negativity is a reflection of them, not you.


Quote: “Don’t take criticism from someone you wouldn’t take advice from.” – Unknown 


2. Stay True to Yourself


Never dim your light to make others comfortable. Keep growing, succeeding, and being yourself.


Example: If someone mocks your passion for art, remember that their opinion does not define your talent or purpose.


3. Show Empathy, But Set Boundaries


Sometimes, people who hate you are struggling with deep pain. While you can have compassion, you don’t have to tolerate toxicity.


Example: If a friend constantly puts you down, you can distance yourself while still wishing them well.


4. Use It as Motivation


Turn negativity into fuel. Let people’s doubts inspire you to work even harder.


Quote: “Haters are just confused admirers.” – Paulo Coelho


3. Life Lessons: What This Teaches Us


Haters are teachers in disguise. They teach us resilience, self-worth, and the power of authenticity.


Key Life Lessons:

1. Not Everyone Will Like You – And That’s Okay

Trying to please everyone will only drain you. Focus on those who uplift you.

2. Your Success Will Trigger Some People

The brighter you shine, the more shadows you cast. Keep shining anyway.

3. Haters Often Reveal Your Strengths

If people hate your confidence, it means you have it. If they envy your happiness, it means you embody it.

4. Negativity is a Sign You’re Doing Something Right

If you were insignificant, no one would care enough to criticize you.


Quote: “When people don’t like you, but they watch everything you do, it’s not hate—it’s admiration in disguise.”


Final Thoughts: Rise Above the Hate


Instead of letting hate bring you down, use it as a reminder of what makes you special. Keep being confident, kind, successful, and authentic. The right people will appreciate you, and the wrong ones will reveal what’s missing in themselves.


Quote: “Some people hate you simply because of the way other people love you.”


The next time you face negativity, remember: it’s not your problem—it’s their void. Keep being YOU.

Comments

Yoseph said…
Thanks Ruby, invoking that African proverb suits your great advice very well! Jealousy, hate, envy, and putting someone down come in many forms, but as the African/Arabic proverb goes, "the dogs bark, but the camel keeps walking."
Ruby Dalvina said…
Thank you for your kind words and for appreciating the connection to the proverb! It's a saying I've always found profound in its simplicity and wisdom.

You're absolutely right that negativity can manifest in many forms, but there's something powerful about maintaining our course despite the noise around us. The image of the steady camel continuing its journey while the dogs bark uselessly is such a perfect metaphor for perseverance and focus.

I believe we all face moments when others' criticism or negativity threatens to derail us. In those times, remembering to be like the camel—dignified, purposeful, and undistracted—serves us well.

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